False Front or the Real You?

woman in white shirt and blue denim jeans sitting on chair

Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing. It is entirely possible to appear confident in front of others without having much in the way of self-esteem. Lots of people do it, and some of them are quite famous. You see, the confidence is just a front, a clever pose – an act. It is like a sample cake in the window of a bakery that is made of nothing but cardboard and icing. It looks solid, but if you cut into it, you find there is nothing of real substance inside.

People with a confident front but low self-esteem are plagued with self-doubt when they are alone. They have developed these personas to mask what they perceive as their “real” selves. However, they know they are frauds, and they live in fear of being discovered. Often, they will turn to alcohol or drugs to deal with the stress of trying to maintain the illusion. Others will surround themselves with people whose only function is to make them look good. Some folks do both.

On the other hand, when you have high self-esteem, genuine confidence just naturally follows. Nothing can make you insecure because your security comes from inside. You are not afraid to make a mistake because you believe in your overall competence, and you know that mistakes are simply other opportunities to learn.

When your self-esteem is high, you can deal with every situation honestly, and you can express your true feelings, including fear, sadness and anger, without worrying about how you look to others. Confidence is a great feeling. However, if it is the real thing you are after, you want to build it from the inside out.

The decision is yours, as it always is. Will you choose the false front or the real you?